Forgive Me Husband, I Can not Fulfill your rights Today
The rights of a husband when executed by the wife with great pleasure it will be fruitful reward. But of course, those rights do not violate the rights of God. For example one of the rights of husbands against wives is served in bed (jima ‘). Even if the wife did not obey him, the angels will also be angry with the wife who refuses her husband.
Abu Hurayrah from the Prophet shallallahu’alaihi wasallam, he said:
“If someone’s husband calls his wife to bed (for Sunday) and then her husband was reluctant to sleep in anger, surely the angels will curse the wife until the morning.” (Reported by Muslim (2 / 1060))
However in some condition, the wife does not serve her husband is when menstruation. Need understanding based on science for husbands not to fall into the fatal error. Why is that? Because jima ‘with women menstruation is haraam. As word of God,
ويسألونك عن المحيض قل هو أذى فاعتزلوا النساء في المحيض ولا تقربوهن حتى يطهرن فإذا تطهرن فأتوهن من حيث أمركم الله
“They ask you about menstruation. Say it is dirt menstruation. Therefore you should keep away from women at a time when menstruation and do not approach them before they are holy. If they have intercourse with them was the sacred place which enjoined. “(Surat al-Baqara: 222)
“Be ye abstain from women at a time when menstruation ‘means jima’ (on his cock), particularly because it is unlawful according to the consensus. Restrictions with the word “away on the menstruation ‘shows that making out with the wife of menstruation, to touch it without jima’ on his cock is allowed. (As Sa’di Tafseer vol 1, p. 358)
Words of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wasallam,
“Do everything to your wife except Jima.” (Sahih Ibn Majah no: 527, Muslim I: 246 No. 302)
The wife should refuse the fine if the husband wants it and explained that jima ‘during menstruation is haraam for both the husband and wife. It is in accordance with the words of Shaykh Uthaymeen rahimahullah that unlawful intercourse with a husband and wife during menstruation is also unlawful for her to serve him. (Aktsar Min Alf Reply Lil mar’ah)
But this does not preclude husband to flirt with his wife without Jima ‘. As an explanation as Shaykh Sa’di in his commentary that the wife making out with a menstruating, touch him without jima ‘allowed.
From radhiyallahu’anha Aisha said “Allah ordered me to wear cloth gloves and then I put it on and he make love me.” (Al-Mughni (3 / 84), Al Muhadzab (1 / 187))
From Maimunah, he said, “Verily the Messenger of intercourse with one of his wife while she was menstruating, she (wife) wearing a sarong to mid-thigh or knee, so he made it as a barrier.” (Narrated by Bukhari: 64)
Time Limits for Women Avoiding menstruation
فإذا تطهرن فأتوهن من حيث أمركم الله
“If they have intercourse with them was the sacred place which enjoined.” (Surat al-Baqara: 222)
“Until they are holy ‘means that their blood (female menstruation) has stopped, there goes the current barrier of blood still flowing. (As Sa’di Tafseer vol 1, p. 358)
According to Al-Lajnah ad Daa’imah, there are two halal requirements may jima husbands’ wife (the period): interruption of menstrual blood and the holy bath. Strengthens the argument that this opinion is the word of God, which means: “do not approach them before they are holy. If they have intercourse with them was the sacred place which enjoined. “Surat Al-Baqarah: 222
In As Sa’di Tafseer vol 1 p. 358, “Do not approach them before they are holy” means to leave fondle the genitals of the close between the navel and the knees, as the Prophet did, when he was caressing his wife during her menstruation was he ordered him to wear cloth caressing her, then he would. Meanwhile, “If they have holy” means the wife has a shower.
What if jima ‘with the wife of menstruation due to accident or do not know about the law?
Imam Nawawi in the book of Muslim Syarhu III: 204 says “If a Muslim believes to be halal jima ‘with a woman who is menstruating through his cock, he was a kafir, an apostate. If it does so without lawful conviction, for example if he do it for forgetting or not knowing the release of menstrual blood or do not know that it is haram or forced by others, then it is no sin nor is obligated to pay kafarah. But if she is menstruating woman who meddle with intentionally and knew that she was menstruating and know that nowadays, with full awareness of the meaning he has done great sinners as underlined by Imam Syafii rahimahullah that the act is a grave sin and must repent. ”
If you already interfere with his wife in a state of menstruation, there are two opinions:
1. Some scholars argue that he is obligated to pay the ransom (kafarah). This opinion was taken by Imam Ahmad and Imam Nawawi. Shaykh Abdul “Azhim bin Abdullah in his book Al-Sunna wal Wajiiz fi fiqhis Kitabil” Aziz said that a strong opinion is that required to pay kafarah.
Based on the hadith of Ibn Abbas radhiyallahu’anhu:
Of the Prophet SAW shallallahu’alaihi about a husband who meddle wife at the time of menstruation, the Prophet said, “Let he bershadaqah one dinar or half a dinar.” (Sahih Ibn Majah no: 523, Aunul Ma’bud I: 445 No. 261, Nasa ‘ i I: 153, Ibn Majah I: 210 no: 640)
2. Some other states that do not require paying a ransom. However opinion taken by the madhhab Hanafiyyah and boosted Shaykh al-Adawi Musthofa expiation that the Sunnah of the intercourse with his wife at the time of menstruation. These differences arise because of differences of opinion regarding the keshahihan his arguments.
How large should Kafarrah Paid?
They are opinions of the scholars on this issue:
1. There is a difference in the number kafarrah if jima ‘is beginning or the end time of menstruation
From Ibn Abbas in mauquf radhiyallahu’anhu, he said, ‘If he mixes with his wife early discharge of blood then let bershadaqah a dinar and if at the end of the discharge of blood, half a dinar. “(Abu Daud no: 238 and” Aunul Ma’bud I : 249 no 262)
This opinion taken by the madhhab of Imam Syafii
2. According to Imam Ahmad that if the menstrual blood is red then the size is 1 dinar and if it is yellow then the size of half a dinar. (Ma’alim Sunan Al Khithabi work (1 / 181).
3. According to the sheikh Albani rahimahullah, kafarah paid in accordance with person ability.
Additional Notes: 1 dinar = 4.25 grams of gold, while the dinar value adjusted to the local currency.
Is Kafarrah also paid by the wife?
If the wife served him voluntarily then he should pay kaffarah, but if he does under compulsion he will not have to pay the ransom shallallahu’alaihi based on the word of the Prophet SAW:
“My people are forgiven for the wrong, forgotten and nothing is forced upon him.”
(See Az-zakah wa Tathbiqatihan p. 91)
Hopefully with a little discussion of this can add to the knowledge of women about the important but sometimes considered taboo. If the husband does not have an understanding about it, let the wife who tried to explain it in their best not to fall into the mistake. Remember, O my sister, pay the right of God first rather than the right husband.
And Allah knows best.